Breaking the Sex Trap

I'm about to tell you about my favorite sex toy. It's most definitely not what you're thinking... Because it's the timer on my iPhone. I know it sounds ridiculous. But this simple device transformed my relationship with intimacy and taught me how to have the kind of...

"He never initiates the way I want him to." "She always seems annoyed when I try to be romantic." "He doesn't understand how to touch me." "She never tells me what she actually wants." Sound familiar? Most couples stuck in sexual frustration have become experts at one...

I'm going to say something controversial: I've eliminated foreplay from my sex life. That doesn't mean I skip straight to penetration. It means I've stopped treating kissing, touching, oral sex, and all the other fun, sexy stuff possible as the appetizer to the "main...

When couples tell me their bedroom has become a source of tension rather than connection, I ask them to think about the last time they had trouble falling asleep. You know the feeling: lying there, mind racing, checking the clock, getting more frustrated by the...

Every relationship article tells you the same thing: "Communication is key!" Talk more. Share your feelings. Express your needs. Be vulnerable. So you try it. You have "the talk" about sex. Maybe multiple talks. You read books together, you share articles, you even...

When couples come to me because she's lost interest in sex, I hear the same theories over and over: "Maybe it's her hormones." "She's just getting older." "Women don't need sex as much as men do." "She's stressed with the kids." But here's what's really happening—and...

I've been exactly where you are. He's feeling rejected, and she's feeling broken. You fight about sex instead of having it. You feel like roommates instead of lovers. One or both of you is reaching a breaking point around the tension in your sex life. You don't know...

When a couple tells me they’re struggling with sex—often because one person wants more and the other wants less—I don’t start by asking about positions or past trauma. I ask the person who wants less sex this: “How would you feel if I told you that tonight, you have...