I’m going to say something controversial: I’ve eliminated foreplay from my sex life.
That doesn’t mean I skip straight to penetration. It means I’ve stopped treating kissing, touching, oral sex, and all the other fun, sexy stuff possible as the appetizer to the “main course” of intercourse.
Because here’s the problem with foreplay: it pressurizes the entire sexual experience.
The Foreplay Trap
Foreplay, by definition, is anything that comes before the “real thing.” It’s seen as the warm-up round. The preparation. The necessary prelude to what we’re really here for—fucking.
This framework creates a devastating mindset:
- Everything you’re doing now is just a step toward the goal
- The clock is ticking—how long until we get to the “actual” sex?
- Her pleasure right now is just lubrication for what comes next
No wonder so many women lose interest over time in Routine Sex. Who wants to be rushed through a checklist of activities on the way to a sexual finish line?
What This Does to Her Body
Remember that feminine energy map—the one that’s cyclical, unpredictable, and responds to presence rather than progression?
Foreplay completely ignores it.
When sex has a predetermined endpoint (intercourse), her body knows it. Even if he’s “taking his time” with foreplay, there’s an underlying agenda: this is all leading somewhere specific.
That agenda activates her Scanner. She starts monitoring:
- How long is this going to take?
- Am I ready yet?
- Should I be more turned on by now?
- When do we move to the next step?
Instead of feeling sensations in her body, she’s tracking progress toward a goal. Instead of being discovered, she’s being warmed up.
What Happens When You Eliminate Foreplay
When I stopped having foreplay, I started having everything.
Making out wasn’t preparation—it was the experience itself. Oral sex wasn’t a step toward intercourse—it was its own complete adventure. Touching each other’s bodies wasn’t warming up—it was the entire event.
Some nights, we’d spend an hour just kissing. Other nights, oral sex would be the whole encounter. Sometimes we’d touch each other, and nothing else would happen.
And here’s what shocked me: I wanted sex more than ever before.
Why? Because sex stopped being a script I had to follow and became an experience I could actually enjoy.
The Real Main Course
When you eliminate the hierarchy of sexual acts—when nothing is foreplay and nothing is the “main event”—every touch counts for pleasure.
He’s not touching you to get you ready for something else. He’s touching you because your body is fascinating, and he wants to explore it.
You’re not kissing him as a stepping stone to intercourse. You’re kissing him because kissing is its own sublime experience, and you love the way his mouth tastes.
This shift changes everything:
- Pressure evaporates because nothing has to happen
- Presence increases because there’s nowhere to get to
- Variety explodes because you’re not stuck in a linear progression
- Her desire awakens because she’s finally being met by how her desire works
What This Actually Looks Like
“But wait,” you might be thinking, “if we don’t have foreplay, how are we ever going to have sex?”
In Infinite Sex, some encounters will include intercourse. Some won’t. And that’s perfect—because the goal isn’t to check boxes, it’s to connect authentically and experience pleasure together.
When you stop treating the beginning of sex as mere preparation for the “real” part, you discover something revolutionary: it was all real all along.
Foreplay keeps you trapped in performance mode, racing toward a predetermined ending instead of being present with what’s actually unfolding.
When you eliminate it—when you allow every sexual experience to be exactly what it is without it needing to lead anywhere specific—you unlock the kind of intimacy and passion that actually sustains desire over time.
The irony? Once you stop making intercourse the goal, you’ll probably have more of it than ever before. Because she’s finally enjoying the journey enough to want to explore all its territories.
